my lj

Friday, December 11th

We slept late enough to miss the sunrise...thank God. Brandon went to school and Laura, Alli and me got ready to go to the mall again in attempts to find a cute sweater or something to wear when we go out later that night. We had no luck. And the mall is huge and confusing.

There was this really pretty area outside behind where pictures with Santa were taken and we went outside to take some pictures with the snow and pretty trees. Right behind us was Dick's sporting goods store and there was a sign for it behind us and we were getting Alli to take Laura and mine's picture and Laura says "Be sure to get the Dick's sign in the background" right as this man and then another woman going the opposite way are crossing but of course I wasn't paying attention and just say "Yea cuz we love Dicks" Then I looked at the guy and realize I said that really loud and he had turned around and was smiling. The lady definitely heard us too. It was so quiet out there and I think it even echoed haha. Oh well...

For lunch we got Wetzel dogs aka the best thing ever. It's basically a huge hotdog wrapped with like pretzel bread and it was amazingggggggg.

Several buy one get one sales, no sweaters, no cute pants, and no cute hats later...
we give up. Go back to the apt to meet Brandon and go get fitted for skis!!!

We drive to this sporting goods place called Sports Authority to get our skis. The guy that was giving us our ski boots had to be really entertained. We were all having a hard time squeezing our feet down into the boots. And Laura was saying how fat her legs were and that she couldn't feel her feet when they were in her boots. It was just funny. We then carried our heavy freakin ski boots and skis to pay and then load them in the car. Alli, Laura and me then ran by Target to look for hats again and were unsuccessful yet again. Oh well.

When we got back to the apt we began the fun times of trying to figure out what the crap we would wear out. I finally found a shirt in Alli's closet and then a few outfits after that Alli found what she was wearing. Then we waited on 2 of Brandon's friends to get here.

Owen and Chad make it here and we head to downtown Denver. We ate at this yummy restaurant called The Keg. It was fancy. Our waitress kinda sucked though. After dinner we walked to this piano bar place called Sing Sing. It was basically 4 guys on stage. 2 played piano and then 1 drums and the other guitar. They took requests and that's all they played. It was really cool. They were funny too and would sing Happy Birthday to people and the last time they'd say "You bitch! You slut! You whore!" and the whole crowd joined. It was awesome hah. What was most awesome was when they called Laura for her 21st birthday to come sit on stage while they sang to her. I had nothing to do with this it was all Brandon but it was so hilarious. They give you a bumper sticker on your boobs or butt that says Shut Up and Sing. It was funny because they asked her how alcohol tastes now that she's legal and she wasn't even drinking haha.

Alli's friend, Kelly, from work was meeting us there and bringing a friend and me and Laura were like waiting on her for some reason and Alli said she had short hair and glasses so when Kelly and her friend finally did come in they both had short hair and glasses on and I said "Which one's Kelly? I'm so confused!" The rest of the night we were entertained by watching Kelly and her friend Erin acting skanky and dancing on everyone. Erin was all up on Chad and we were like yea they are totally hooking up tonight. And then Kelly was all up on Erin and Chad was just like hell yea and like man it was ridiculous. We were like we don't know who's gonna hook up first Kelly and Erin or Chad and Erin lol.

Laura and me mostly sat and watched and talked to Nebraska aka Owen. He's pretty cool other than the fact he likes Nebraskas dumb football team and wants Texas to win the National Championship for some reason...what a loser. It was getting late and we knew we were going skiing in the morning so me and Laura were getting sleepy and ready to leave. We paid for our drinks and headed outside where it was friggin freezing. We had to find a gas station before we ran out and the first one we got to had the pumps turned off but then we found a seven eleven that was open.

We finally made it home and went to sleep.

Now we're waiting on Brandon to get back and we are going to Winter Park to SKI!!!!! :)

Wednesday, December 9th

Could we BE any more excited?! NO! Finally the day Laura and myself leave for Denver, Colorado for a whole week!

My mom and me met Laura and her mom at Logan's to eat before going to the airport. Our food seemed to take foreverrrrrr and we were so ready to go. Checking in went smooth, thankfully. Our moms stayed at the gate until our plane took off. How sweet haha. We finally boarded onto the world's smallest plane. It was 3 seats wide...and burning up. I was already prepared for Denver and wearing my long johns so I was about to die. We took off and Laura and me both literally could not stop smiling.

1 hour 50 minutes later...
We land in Houston. The airport was ginormous. We had to take a tram to get on our next flight and that was so crazy to us since neither of us have ever flown alone before or in years! We made it to our terminal and got drinks and I went to buy a Cosmo magazine. Thankfully Laura noticed there were 2 different ones before I bought the one in my hand which was in freakin Spanish. lol. Anyways, so we are waiting to board and this stupid guy looks at our Alabama shirts and asked if we went to Alabama and we said no and then he says "you're not one of their football fans are you?" and we are thinking UMM DUH why else would we wear these shirts, but we say yea and he kind of rolled his eyes. I asked if he was a Texas fan and he said no LSU. And he was just pissed cuz we "stole" Saban from them. GET OVER IT! lol

We board the BIG plane thats 6 seats wide and are so happy to be on a bigger plane. It was still 90 degrees tho.

1 tiny sandwich, 2 hours 45 minutes later...
We land in DENVER!!!! It gets hotter than ever waiting to get off the plane and when we do get off we can see our breath and pretty much loved it after burning up all day. We go to find Brandon and Alli who had been waiting for about an hour cuz our flight was late leaving Houston. We find them, get our luggage, and head to the car. It's 5 degrees and the air is so different here. You can tell when you breath. It's weird. We drive to get something to eat at Del Taco and then head to their apartment. There is snow all over the ground and Laura and me are so sad because we want to play in it and we can't see the mountains because it's dark :(

Get our food, get to the world's cutest apartment. Hang out then head to bed and excited for the next day!

Thursday, December 10th
Woke up at like probably 5:45 am Denver time and it was so windy it was crazy. I thought it was storming it was so loud. I looked out the window and the snow was being blown around like sand at the beach. The sun wasn't even up yet and I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Laura woke up too and then Brandon left for school at 7:30 and Alli and us got ready to go play in the snow. It was freakin freezing when the wind was blowing. The snow is like so powdery you can't make a snowball. But we finally saw the mountains!!! Amazing!

We come in after freezing to death and get ready and go like down the street to the mall. All while me and Laura are drooling over the mountains and taking a ton of pictures. It's unbelievable and really pictures don't do it justice.

We get to the mall at like 10 and in the first store the guy is asking why we're up so early and we're like well...we've been up since 6:30 but whatever. Then in another store another person was asking why we were up and we were like ughhhh. We shopped around a little and me and Laura got a delicious pretzel then we came back to the apt where Brandon was so we could all go to Estes Park.

The drive there was amazing going through all the mountains. It was beautiful. When we got to the Estes Park sign we pulled over to take pictures. It was soooo freezing up there and the wind was killer. We were dying by the time we got back in the car. We stopped at the Visitors center to use the bathroom and look at brochures. The place was pretty much abandoned. We got back in the car and then went to the little town and parked. The first store we went in had all this cool mountainish animalish stuff and they had this huge stuffed animal black bear and I wanted to take my picture with it but didn't know if I was allowed. The lady working must've heard Laura and me talking about it and she said "Sit down and he'll give you a bear hug and take a picture" and we were like sweet. So we all took really cute pictures. When Alli sat down she said "Why isn't he hugging me?" because she thought his hands raised around you automatically. We all just laughed.

Then we walked across the street to this little pub restaurant place called Wapiti Pub. It was all windows and there was a lot of snow just right outside. The food was very good too and they were fast. After eating we headed further into the park to see some elk. We got so excited for the first one we saw and we ended up seeing like hundreds. I have about a million pictures of them. They are so cute though! We got out of the car again twice, once to take pictures from the view up high and then again to walk down to this creek that was completely frozen. You could stand on it so that was pretty cool.

By this time it was pretty dark so we headed out of the park and back home. What a good day though. This is easily the most beautiful place I've been. I could totally live here one day. :)

Is there a limit to how many times your heart can be broken? 

I'm pretty sure the answer is no, but we sure wish there were a limit.

Being heart broken doesn't just come from the end of a relationship. It probably comes just as often if not more often from friendships.

I've dealt with my share of both. They both suck. With both you lose someone you probably thought would be in your life forever. You lose a part of yourself. Good memories just become memories, a part of your past you probably just wish you could erase altogether to keep from the constant daily reminders that that part of your life is gone forever.

With lost friendships you no longer can walk into a restaurant and say "remember that time when..." or even just say 2 words that reminds you and your friend of an inside joke you share. Instead, you keep it in your head and feel disappointed that someone you once considered your bff is now not even a friend. But for a split second you smile and forget the reason you don't even talk anymore...

And you miss it. And its hard to admit but you miss the person who at one time you "hated." But is it really possible to ever hate someone who you once loved? 

People change though. It's definitely not easy to have lasting relationships or friendships when you're young. And then there are those people who never change or should I say mature? 

So to those people. Good luck. 

But, I won't give up

and I won't forget what your friendship meant to me. I miss you. LBH.

And to you, you, and you. I never miss you. :)

Here's to life. Let the good times roll.

I need to be studying...as always. I will always need to be studying for the next year and a half of my life. You always hear how tough nursing school is before you start, but I didn't really realize until it started. I was hoping it was gonna be easier than I was expecting. Unfortunately, it's just as hard as I was expecting. I'm seriously hoping I can make it...without losing my social life to studying.

It sucks because I never feel like I have "free time" to just do whatever. I feel like I need to be studying 24/7. Sometimes it's just overwhelming and I feel like I'm gonna lose it.

Fortunately, I have this really amazing guy in my life that keeps me from going absolutely crazy.

I'm not gonna lie, earlier this year was one of the hardest times for me ever. I had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship and learned how hard it is to completely lose someone that you thought would be in your life forever. It took me about a month to realize how unsatisfied I would have been if I had stayed in that relationship. It was hard at first to not think of those 2 years as a complete waste. But I learned a lot from that relationship. I'm a stronger person and I know what I really want in a future husband. I'm so grateful that things happened the way they did. As bad as it was at first it makes everything that much better now.

I appreciate so much more things than I did before. It's amazing to be treated the way I always wanted to and begged for 2 years to be treated. I wasn't treated like shit, but there was always that something that I needed and never got from him. And let me just say that the little things matter. If you don't like something about a guy, you won't be able to change him. No matter how small the thing is. It's not even worth trying. Unfortunately, it took me 2 years to realize this. Don't settle. I was going to. Thankfully I'm not in that situation anymore.

I believe more than ever that everything really does happen for a reason. If in the end you're not happy, then it's not the end.

I know it sounds dumb to say I'm happier with Ben than I ever was with anyone else because it's kind of like...well duh. There's a reason people break up and don't make it. Of course every relationship after the previous I'm gonna be happier. You learn from mistakes. You learn what you really want/need from a relationship.  Now that I've had the bullshit high school relationships I've found someone who makes me happy. Someone I don't want to change because he's amazing just the way he is. He's all that I ever wanted in a boyfriend. He sends the sweet texts, he says the sweet things, he makes me laugh, he'll hang out with all my friends, he shows me he cares, he does all those little things that make me so incredibly happy. All those things that he probably doesn't even realize are so great.

I'm scared. I don't want to get hurt again. And it's hard to understand how I can get someone as amazing as Ben. I just feel I don't deserve him. Why me? He could be with pretty much whoever and he's with me. I'm a lucky girl. I'm just scared. Heartbreak is the worst pain in the world and I don't ever want to feel it again. I'm scared I may hold back feelings because I won't want to put myself up for another let down. But I suppose that's something everyone goes through that's been through a tough break-up. But I'm the kind of person who always plays the what-if games. What if he was in a bad accident and I never saw him again? I know that kind of stuff is kind of ridiculous but I can't help thinking about it. It would kill me to know that I never told someone how much they meant to me. Not just a boyfriend. But anyone. I don't tell a lot of people how much they mean to me as much as I should. My parents, for one. They're getting older and it's really one of the hardest things to grasp. My parents are a lot older than most of my friends parents. Just last week I was with my dad and he had a hurt hip. He was limping and when we were walking at one point his leg just kind of gave out and he just about fell. It's better now. But it's hard to see a parent who's been such a huge part of your life, get older...and weaker. My parent's are amazing. I guess it takes moving out to really realize how much they did/are doing for you. I wouldn't be where I am today without them. Thank God for them.

I have all that I need and I am happy. 

i havent been this mad in a fucking long time
and it fucking sucks

andrew rocks my world

"its the climax of the song"

ooooooommmmmffffgggg

rewind

one more timeeeeee

so once the plans for leaving for atlanta on thursday fell through I was pretty excited i was gonna get to go to the midnight showing of Pirates 2. Met at Merediths at 10 along with kathryn, abbey, alex, jessie, adam, his cousin, ashlee and eventually kerri and jordan. I rode with Abbey, kathryn, jessie and kerri. We listened to Panic! at the disco and were so ready for the show cuz we were all hot and dressed like pirates. Got there and went and stood by the theatre and when they let us go in I like ran in and got seats. There ended up being so many of us we took up like 2 rows. I sat by Hunter and Kerri. Me and Hunter had fun during the movie making comments about it. Like how they could afford rain and just other random shit. Oh and when Jack got cum all over him and when I said "It just cum all over him!" and as kerri said the entire row bounced in laughter. It was so much fun and the movie was so freakin amazing and I can not wait for the 3rd.

so Friday got up early and packed and shit for Atlanta with Ren. I was so effin tired. Ren and her mom picked me up at like 10:30 and we didnt get to Atlanta til like 4 cuz traffic was the suck. We got ready and went to eat at The Sun Dial, a nice ass restaurant on top of this hotel. It spins around so you can see the whole city in one hour. Its awesome. The food was the shit too. much fun. After that we went back to the Hotel which was also nice as shit. We changed and went to the movie theatre to see Pirates cuz Ren wanted to see it and of course I wanted to go again. Well some shit happened with the tickets and we ended up seeing it at 11:15 and we were like the 1st ppl in there. 

the movie was even better the 2nd time. Then we came back to the Hotel and then went to sleep. Saturday we woke up and got ready and went to a mall. more gayness gettin there because our fuckin Marta broke down right as we were about there. I bought some cute stuff at Wet Seal. and Ren bought some stuff at like every store there. 

We left the mall and went to the hotel to change and headed for the Braves game. On the Braves shuttle there were these guys and one kept talkin to me and Ren and he was totally drunk and he asked me what color his underwear was because my eyes are so big i could see them...and i was just like ummk wtf? but they were really funny and we saw them a lot after that. 

the game was sooo much fun. our seats were really good. And the braves actually freakin won. All because Ren's Husband Jeff hit a homerun. lol. That game was the shit. 

After the game we came back to the hotel and me and ren went to get her mom a drink and I wore andrew's green hoodie with the hood up and she wore a green hoodie with the hood up and we just walked around the nice ass hotel lookin like dumbasses. it was so fun tho. we got on this elevator and pressed all the buttons and btw there are like 28 floors and then this lady got on and was like "ugh who pressed all the buttons?" and i was like "I dunno these little girls got on here and pressed them all and just got off. And about 3 floors later she was like "yall did it didnt you?" and Ren was like "theres no we it was her" and i was just like "lol...yea" And then we we finally got off those and came to the other elevators we just like layed down and everytime the door opened we were like THIS ONE"S GOING UP and this lady was gonna come get on but saw us laying there in our hoods and was just like im good. It was so funny.

so about 30 minutes later her mom got her drink. lol. good times.

Sunday we woke up. ate breakfast. took a bubble bath...hahaha. and uhh yea then went to The Varsity and ate some good ass hot dogs and stuff then came home. 

today-woke up after 2 it was great. did nothing. went and ran at the school with ren.

andrew comes home in like 2 weeks...yayyyyyyyyy

tonight

Pirates

Johnny Depp

=

"IT JUST CUM ALL OVER HIM!!!"

"BAHAHAHAHAHA"

 

mmm one of the greatest nights everrrr

Monday-Met Kerri at Frontera and ate and shit. Then met at Merediths at 6 and went bowling with her and Jesslyn over at Superbowl. It was really cheap. Before we got a lane Meredith and JJ got food and Meredith got a footlong corndog and me and kerri were like uhhh that looks so good. So we got one to share and then took pictures with it. And this lady beside us with kids was like "thats awesome" it was funny. And then Meredith asked why we didnt get 2 regular corn dogs instead of sharing a footlong and we laughed for like ten minutes.

hanyways...we bowled 2 games. My name was Drunk or Not(Dru), Kerri was Midget(Mid), Meredith was I dont remember hers and Jesslyns was Ethro hahaha. I completely sucked my first time and got 2 gutterballs then I got a strike the 2nd time so pbshdfdsj yea. It was fun. After we bowled we went to Target. Then to sonic then I prank called people and it was pretty funny. hahaha "do you want me to have my clothes on or off in this picture?" "off" "good then I don't have to put my clothes back on to take a picture" good times.

then we went to mere's house and kerri humped this ball and we talked and shit then I came home.

July 4th-went swimming at Zamora with Michelle and Sean and a lot of other people. Funnntimes. Then came home and ate good bbq and shit. Then got ready and went to Merediths to go to Thunder on the Mountain. Picked up Kerri at Kmart then went and got Laura cuz she had nothing to do. It was really fun. We watched the fireworks from some bridge that goes to a parking deck at UAB. They were pretty. We couldnt hear the music cuz no one had a fuckin radio so I was singing Im proud to be an american over and over. funny stuff. Then we came back to Merediths minus Kerri cuz she went with a friend that met us downtown. Left mere's at like 11. 

goooooodshittt.

so I was supposed to be in atlanta today through sunday with Alli...but some crap happened so if we do get to go  we leave tomorrow. Which means I'm going TOfuckinNIGHT to see Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest fuckyeaaaaaaaa. Im excited its gonna be so awesome.

first of all....the words whore and fuck should be used more frequently in songs...
anyways
Warped Tour in the ATL with Brooke, Whitney, and Kathryn was umm the fuckin shit!!!
we missed Anti Flag tho :-( major suckness. but we saw lots of other good bands. Thursday, Plain White T's, The Casualties, NOFX, Less than Jake, Joan Jett, Underoath and the Buzzcocks...prob more I just forgot.
it was hot as crap tho. but I still had fun. When we left we ate at Subway and then went and checked in at our hotel. We were about to go to bed and these guys across the hall called asking us to buy them alcohol...and we were like psh we wish we could. hah. Then we went over to their room. They were cool guys. Zach, Mike(Niggy), and the farmer guy. lol. Kathryn and Brooke made me do my hardcore metal scream for them. I did it to golddigger. twas pretty funny...they laughed and we're like holy shit i wasnt expecting that. Turns out they were from Alabama, in a band together bout to go record some shit in Dothan. Fun times. A few hours later we went back to our room and went to sleep......

I go to Atlanta again this Thursday-Sunday with Alli. I'm excited. But sad cuz I'm not gonna get to see Andrew this Saturday. Thank god he only has like 3 more weeks left. I miss him a fuckin lot.